Some useful terms
S-x before marriage - also called fornication
S-x outside of marriage - adultery

A christian woman on how becoming a Christian affected her thinking on marriage and sexual purity.



For those interested in doing the leg work, here is the pdf worksheet to download and fill in.




Here are some very helpful Bible quotes. Read through them and write down in your own words what each part is saying about s-x.

Genesis 2:23-25
The man said,
"This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called 'woman'
for she was taken out of man."

For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.

The man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.

Ephesians 5:21-33
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Hebrews 13:4
Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the s-xually immoral.

Below is a trimmed version of an interview with Samera Hassan where we discuss issues relevant to this part.



(the video above may not work if you are accessing it at school due to youtube restrictions)

Taken from this website.

Information taken from Questions and Answers About Women's Rights In Islam, Compiled by Lea Zaitoun

The Right to Adequate S-xual Relations
Since the purpose of marriage is to be a mutual source of comfort, peace, and enjoyment for each other, like a garment that protects and covers, the s-xual aspect of marriage is an extension of this. The husband is asked to be gentle, considerate and loving with his wife, and to try to satisfy her needs.

The wife must reserve herself exclusively for her husband, and make efforts to be attractive, as well as making herself available to him whenever he is in need of her. This latter obligation also applies to the husband.

In Islam, any s-xual relations are reserved EXCLUSIVELY for the confines of marriage. Both husband and wife are also obligated to honor the privacy of the intimate relations between them, and should not speak of them to anyone.

No jokes please.


Compare the attitudes above (in Islam and Christianity) with what you might see on your favourite TV programs. In what ways might your favourite characters change if they became a Muslim or Christian? Would it change the storylines? How?

Why bother with marriage? What are the purposes for it?
How does marriage look in different religions?


here are some very helpful Bible quotes. Read through them and write down in your own words what each part is saying about marriage.

Matthew 19:4-6
"Haven't you read," Jesus replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female, and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? So they are no longer two, but one. Therefore what God has joined together, let man not separate."

Genesis 1:27-28
So God created man in his own image,
in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them.

God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it..."

Ephesians 5:21-33
Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

(many thanks to the damaris people for their assistance in this)


How do these Bible quotes fit with what you see in reality?
Do you think that these things are possible in real life? Why/why not?
Do they describe anything that you would like to see more or less in real life?



This is a very helpful site (thanks damaris) that gives some useful info on marriage from the Church of England.

Here we offer the epic 'Action Man Gets Hitched' to demonstrate some of the aspects of a traditional Church of England wedding. Enjoy!



(the video above may not work if you are accessing it at school due to youtube restrictions)

Why bother with marriage? What are the purposes for it?
How does marriage look in different religions?



The following is a section taken from this website. It provides some very detailed information about marriage in the Islamic community.

02. IMPORTANCE OF MARRIAGE IN ISLAM:

The Holy Quran says: And marry those among you who are single and those who are fit among your male slaves and your female slaves; if they are needy, Allah will make them free from want out of His grace; and Allah is Ample-giving, Knowing. (Surah Nur 24:32)

The above ayat begins with the words Wa Ankehoo (And marry ...) The imperative form of the word 'nikah' implies that either it is obligatory or highly recommended. According to scholars, though marriage is a highly recommended act, it becomes obligatory when there is a chance of falling into sin.

The Prophet says, "No house has been built in Islam more beloved in the sight of Allah than through marriage."

On another occasion the Prophet (s.a.w.) said: "The best people of my nation (Ummat) are those who get married and have chosen their wives, and the worst people of my nation are those who have kept away from marriage and are passing their lives as bachelors."

Imam Ali (a.s.) exhorts, "Marry, because marriage is the tradition of the Prophet." The Prophet (s.a.w.) also said, "Whosoever likes to follow my tradition, then he should know that marriage is from my tradition."

A. Importance of s-x in marriage.
In Islam, marriage is not restricted to a platonic relationship between husband and wife, nor is it solely for procreation. The Islamic term for marriage, "Nikah" literally means s-xual intercourse. So why has Islam provided extensive rules and regulation regarding s-x? This was because Islam has fully understood that s-xual instincts cannot and must not be repressed. They can only be regulated for the well being of human beings in this life and for their success in the hereafter.

s-x in married life has been openly recommended in Qur'an, "When they [i.e., the wives] have cleansed themselves [after menstruation], you go into them as Allah has commanded." (Surah Baqarah 2:222)

B. Fulfillment of s-xual Urge.
The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.) and the Holy Imams (a.s.) also encouraged their followers to marry and to fulfill their s-xual urges in lawful ways as can be seen. The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.) said, "O you young men! I recommend marriage to you."

Imam Reza (a.s.) said, "Three things are from the traditions of the messengers of God: using perfume, removing the [excessive] hair and visiting one's wife."

C. Celibacy and Monasticism is Forbidden.
Islam is totally opposed to monasticism and celibacy. Uthman bin Maz'un was a close companion of the Prophet. One day his wife came to the Prophet and complained, "O Messenger of God! Uthman fasts during the day and stands for prayers during the night." In other words, she meant to say that her husband was avoiding s-xual relations during the night as well as the day. The Prophet was angered. He did not even wait to put on his slippers. He went to Uthman's house and found him praying. When Uthman finished his prayers and turned towards the Prophet, he said, "O Uthman! Allah did not send me for monasticism, rather He sent me with a simple and straight [Shariah]. I fast, pray and also have intimate relations with my wife. So whosoever likes my tradition, then he should follow it; and marriage is one of my traditions."

D. Beneficial Effects of a Married Life.
Various studies prove that married people remain healthier, physically and mentally. Islam has always maintained that marriage is beneficial for us in many ways.

Islam also regards marriage as a way to acquire spiritual perfection. The Prophet (s.a.w.) said, "One who marries, has already guarded half of his religion, therefore he should fear Allah for the other half." How true! A person who fulfills his s-xual urges lawfully would rarely be distracted in spiritual pursuits.

E. Marriage enhances the value of prayers.
The Prophet (s.a.w.) said, "Two rak 'ats (cycles) prayed by a married person are better than the night-vigil and the fast of a single person." A woman came to the Prophet (s.a.w.) and said that she had tried everything to attract her husband but in vain; he does not leave his meditation to pay any attention to her. The Prophet (s.a.w.) told her to inform her husband about the reward of s-xual intercourse, which he described as follows: "When a man approaches his wife, he is guarded by two angels and [at that moment in Allah's views] he is like a warrior fighting for the cause of Allah. When he has intercourse with her, his sins fall like the leaves of the tree [in fall season]. When he performs the major ablution, he is cleansed from sins."

F. Marriage increases Sustenance.
The Holy Prophet (s.a.w.) remarked, "Give spouses to your single ones, because Allah makes their morality better (improves it) (under the shadow of marriage) and expands their sustenance and increases their generosity (human values)."


List at least 5 reasons why Muslims think marriage is a good thing.
How are Muslim marriages often viewed by the media? Does this fit with what your 5 reasons are suggesting?

This is a very helpful site (thanks damaris) that gives some useful info on marriage from the Church of England.



The wedding vows from a Church of England website (thanks damaris for the link)




Try rehearsing the vows above by reading them out loud with a friend and ask yourself 'could I ever agree to these?'. Write down what you think.
Do you think that marriage is 'just a piece of paper'?
Do people simply say the vows but not mean them?



This is a webpage intended for Muslim children. It gives some useful information on what happens during a muslim wedding.






From the webwedding site - what happens when you don't want to have a religious wedding in the uk?

This is when you live together without getting married.

What happens in a divorce in the UK?


This website is aimed helping you if you are facing divorce in your family.

This site provides some very clear information on what happens during a divorce.

How do different religious traditions view divorce?


Rev Phil on marriage, three broad views of divorce and reconciliation.



For those interested in doing the leg work, here is the pdf worksheet to download and fill in.





The BBC bitesize site has some useful bits on divorce.

How do different religious traditions view divorce?


From the wikipedia site:
In Islam, divorce is allowed, though discouraged. A commonly mentioned Islamic ruling is that divorce is the least liked of all permissible acts. Islam considers marriage to be a legal contract; and the act of obtaining a divorce is essentially the act of legally dissolving the contract. According to Shariah (Islamic Law), there is a required waiting period before a divorce is considered valid. After three divorces, the man and the women are not allowed to remarry, unless under specific circumstances.

Taken from this website.

Divorce is permitted in Islam as the last unwelcome resort, when all other doors are closed. It is an unwelcome necessity, a bitter pill, an abomination. The Muslim resorts to it only when all the other means to sustain marital life fail. When a Muslim feels unable to retain his wife for some reason or other, he should not hasten to divorce her; rather he should resort to patience. Allah Almighty advises him: "And consort with them (women) with beneficence, so in case you hate them, then it is possible you may hate something, and Allah sets in it much charity." (4:19)

He would ask some of their relatives to intercede to resolve the problems they face. If he loses patience and all the efforts to bring them together fail, the Muslim then may divorce his wife a reversible divorce. In four months time, if his anger abates and he feels the desire to rejoin his wife and she overcomes her hatred and wishes for resuming their life, then they may resume their married life. However, if they remain unchanged, man may divorce her the second time. "And when you divorce women and they reach their prescribed time then either retain them in good fellowship or set them free with liberality." (2:231)

Again the Qur'an stresses kindness towards women even if you divorce them. "So when they have reached their prescribed limit, then retain them with kindness or separate them with kindness." (65:2)

This means that a Muslim should not keep his wife for an unlimited time without deciding to retain her or separate from her. In four months time, after pronouncing the first reversible divorce, the husband has to decide either to go back to his wife or to divorce her an irreversible divorce, to set her free. In both cases woman is to be treated with equal kindness and generosity.

Divorce may prove more merciful than forcing wives and husbands to live together despite their will. Both partners will look for side ways to avoid this abominable life. The social consequences of such life may be devastating such as adultery and even murder. Divorce is a bitter pill to be swallowed when everything else fails. Allah Almighty knows what is best for mankind.